Friday, February 24, 2012

Non Respondez Vous

I was speaking to a friend yesterday and she was bemoaning the fact that she reaches out to people by email, makes presentations to them, spends time doing searches, and nada. The kicker is that these people, by and large, are initiating the conversation. They will email her and ask her for ideas to promote their businesses, schools, honor their child, etc. Because she is a Type A+ personality, she spends a lot of time to do the perfect presentation. Niente. What's happening to people that they can't just hit the reply button?

When I was getting married, oh so many years ago, we didn't even send response cards. We did what Miss Manners and Tiffany's suggested and made invitees take the time to respond in writing in a formal and personal way. Lo and behold, there were very few people that we had to chase down to find out if they were coming or not. That took a lot of effort on the part of the recipient. They rose to the occasion.

I have had to send out mass emails for meetings and events at my kids school over the years. This is with the advent of computers, no stamps involved, nothing, except the reply button.  Still had to chase down answers from many parents. How ridiculous!  As if my time isn't as important? I am trying to imagine, is it not easy enough to reply?  How can we make it easier?  You don't even have to speak to people anymore and it is still too difficult.  For my children's B'Nei Mitzvah, I had to chase down RSVP's from far too many. That did require handwriting, but the stamp was included. Currently, I am hosting a party. Now, granted, we had some glitches in delivery of the email invite. It must have been flagged in many spam folders, but now I have sent it through regular email and I am still chasing replies.  I don't get it. It wouldn't even occur to me not to reply. 

It's not just RSVP's. There are people that are just black holes. You can write them email or send them a message on FB and rien, nothing.  Really?  Isn't it better to respond? Isn't it more respectful to respond?  Even if the other person thinks the answer will piss the receiver off? Isn't it better than the massive black hole?  Come on people, it's time to buck up, grow up, and respond. 

Sidebars:  Maybe that's why I love Downton Abbey so much. I love that world. There were rules that were followed. Everyone knew that respect was of the utmost importance. Etiquette was natural. If you have missed this BBC series, get on it. It is brilliant, gorgeous, and compelling. Two seasons down. You can Netflix it, buy it, stream it, etc. It's well worth the time.  Hoping that everyone has a wonderful weekend.  

Feel free to re-post or forward to a friend.


  1. Sorry Diana, I just founs this in my spam folder, for real. I'll try to get back to you by the end of the day.

    John Harrison

  2. dear diana,
    I am coming to your event. I am sorry if I didn't respond sooner. I am a dirtbag.
    Just kidding.
    I actually totally agree - though I am sure I am one of "those" people at times, meaning to
    but not actually getting back to someone. . .
    see you at the gala!