Possibly Disrespectful

Earlier this week, I was in a roomful of people honoring someone that died a few months ago.  A beautiful memorial with wonderful stories and lots of love.  The next day, a professor from UCLA died suddenly and the outpouring of love was palpable.  To end this week, we had the tragic and untimely death of James Gandolfini in Rome.  

What these three people have in common, from where I sit, they were very complicated men.  The praise heaped upon each of these men after their deaths has been superlative. While they were all alive, the unconditional love was not so apparent.  The memorial we went to was someone that I knew, personally.  He was very close to my husband.  He was a true character, gruff, off-putting, and hilarious.  Not always easy to love and a very complex soul.  I don't think anyone really knew him, but he touched many lives indelibly, for better and for worse.  The professor had a bigger than life personality, but he had his favorites always.  I wasn't one of them.  He was perfectly pleasant to me, but I often felt invisible.  Couldn't get into the "in crowd."  I wasn't anointed.  Reading the outpouring of accolades and love surprised me in many ways.  People praised him for making them the person/writer they are today.  I didn't get that.  Even then I knew that his professionalism was questionable.  He had a deep well of knowledge, but chose to share with the special ones.  

And finally, James Gandolfini.  I didn't know him other than from his characters.  He didn't seem friendly at all in life.  He was great as Tony Soprano.  The role of a lifetime.  Couldn't ever top that.  I was shocked at how young he was.  That he began The Sopranos in his late 30's was so surprising. Today in The New York Post, they reported his final meal consisted of four shots of rum, two pina coladas, two beers, two orders of fried prawns, and a large portion of foie gras. *   I found that shocking.  Shocking for anyone to consume and in front of his teenage son.  Maybe the reports are incorrect.  The autopsy report is supposedly coming out today.  We will certainly find out about his health or lack there of. The accolades since his death are not surprising, but I always wish we, who don't know the person, could hear the good things while the person was living. 

So what am I trying to say today?  Well, death always seems to wipe away the negatives.  Maybe that's the brain's plan, but seems to me that the deceased people deserve to know how you feel before they die or maybe while they were living, they weren't as fantastic....It's just something to think about.  There is no right or wrong answer here, just hopefully thought provoking.

Sidebars:  The Voice ended and Danielle Bradbery won.  She's incredible and I think really will have a big career.  Still urging you all to watch America's Got Talent.  It is a combination variety/freak show.  Last night was game 7 between the Heat and the Spurs.  Most of America was rooting for the Spurs.  Only Floridians were happy.  Hate the Heat!  Chicago Blackhawks and Boston Bruins should both get a Stanley Cup.  These hockey games have been so evenly matched, it's a shame that anyone has to lose.  Series is even 2-2. On a very personal note, my incredibly beautiful and fabulous children are turning 16 this weekend!!!  I can't believe it.  Where does the time go?  Enjoy your weekend!

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* According to the autopsy, no drugs or alcohol were found in his system...!