#PrayersForLamar

I don't understand why I find myself the unlikely champion of things Kardashian, but this latest chapter that the family is facing is deeply painful.  For the many that have never seen one episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, it isn't always what you expect it is.  There are true and real moments.  None more real than watching the demons rise and take over the beloved NBA star, Lamar Odom.  Yes, before he was married to Khloe Kardashian, he was an All-American high school basketball star from NYC.  He was a star and essential player to one of the Lakers championship teams. 

Through all this success, tragedy wreaked havoc throughout his life.  His mother died when he was a young boy, his father was a drug addict and fought his own demons, he was in a car accident that killed a 15 year old boy, two of his best buddies died within a week of each other from drug-related reasons, and that's all off the top of my head.  He has two children from his first wife.  He married Khloe Kardashian and they were really in love. I know, how can you know what's real, but they were so cute together.  His boyish charm and her twinkling eyes were infectious.  They were the best of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  When Lamar got traded to Dallas, we all felt their pain of moving and the struggles.  We felt their pain of trying to have a baby.  We felt the deep pain when Lamar's Dad tried to get back into his life only to tear him down again and kick him to the curb. We watched Lamar's demons kill their marriage.  She fought for him.  He fought but he was fighting the wrong battle.  The drugs and the self-hate kept winning.  

So laugh or mock me for caring about this, but this part of the Kardashian reality was and is real.  They didn't sugar coat it.  They bravely shared the real struggle of addiction and that love couldn't buoy Lamar.  Khloe and Lamar have been separated for a long time, neither could let go. She tried to move on and maybe that was the BS part for TV viewers, and their divorce may or may not be finalized.  That is a bit vague.  In any case when Khloe heard that Lamar was found unconscious, taken to the hospital, and on life support, she dropped everything and flew to be by his side.  She hasn't left since.  She may be the one to make any medical decisions.  Lamar Odom is a 35 year old man loved by everyone who ever got the chance to know him, fighting to stay alive, and his dark side may win out.  

You may ask, why am I wasting my thoughts on this? Well first of all, I love Lamar from afar.  Loved him as a player, loved him on TV, admired his honesty, and today I read that Scott Van Pelt from ESPN went nasty and ugly on the Kardashians and their place in Lamar's life.  Whatever ugly Van Pelt feels about the Kardashians, I will go out on a limb that he never watched the show or talked to Lamar about his love, Khloe.  It's not the time to be disparaging when they may be losing a family member and loved one.  There's enough pain here, don't add to it.

I want a fairy tale ending here, but don't think it will happen.  I want Lamar to wake up, see the light, fight his demons successfully, and ride off into the sunset with Khloe.  All I can do is keep good thoughts for him.  He deserves so much more happy times.  

#PrayersforLamar always....

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@DianaPodolsky

I Felt It Then

In 2014 as the Winter Olympics were approaching, Vladimir Putin made homosexuality criminal in any form.  Even thinking about it could get you in trouble.  Anything deemed "gay," was all of a sudden bad.  For a millisecond, our government pondered if the USA should boycott the Olympics or still go?  Of course, you know that we went, but I honestly thought that was a misstep.  A missed opportunity.  Now, I know that the athletes have worked their whole lives to get to the Olympics, but somethings have to be more important.  Human rights would be on the top of the list, but it wasn't.  I presume NBC honchos got to the President and said we had to go.  The International Olympic committee I'm sure pressed hard to keep everything intact, but at what cost?  Seems to me, that one decision, our becoming complicit with Russia on anti gay rights, emboldened Putin.  From my core, I am sure President Putin felt he got one over on the USA.  He got what he wanted.  We rolled over for the sake of peer pressure?  Capitalisim pressure?  Not really sure why.

Our turning a cheek to Putin was a big mistake.  Right after the 2014 Olympics, Putin started his drumbeat and march to take back Crimea and the Ukraine.  Our government seemingly did nothing.  We took "the high road."  Putin is a bully. President Obama is not.  We know that clearly.  Obama is very measured in his words and statements.  Quiet, controlled, and thoughtful. Putin just keeps pushing and pushing.  Longing from his core for the old days of the KGB and the Cold War.  Wanting to be relevant again.  

Putin has insinuated himself into so many conflicts on the other side of where the US sits, that he is definitely not our ally.  Why do we keep trying to pretend that he is.  His encounters and meetings with President Obama couldn't be chillier, even Netanyahu's meetings share more warmth and that's not saying much.  So the two Presidents this week had what many thought was a very positive and productive meeting.  The White House seemed to believe that there were understandings made clear between the two nations.  That lasted maybe the plane ride back to Moscow.  We then come to find that Russia is not trying to take out ISIS in Syria, as we thought, but bolstering the Assad regime.  WTF???!!!  They bombed locations in Syria that not only took out possible rebel fighters and slapped our President in the face.  

Remember when we turned the other cheek?  I think that was a big error.  I really thought it then, but with every step Putin continues to make, we are getting smacked around.  I am sorry to any and all Olympic athletes that get caught in the middle of political fighting, but that, too, has got to be the risk taken.  We have to look at the greater good and for any future International/Global events dig a little deeper, think a little harder.  A Frankenstein was created and we are still paying for that everyday.  

Okay, people, this is my opinion and only my opinion.  If I got things wrong, you can let me know because I am not an international affairs expert, just an armchair quarterback.  I have felt this since the first anti-gay law went into effect in Russia and more for every other Putin aggression since 2014.  

Sidebars:  I have been trying to figure out why Brian Williams, trusted newsman, who was caught in lies as the NBC Nightly News anchor, was given a second chance, but Dr. Nancy Snyderman, medical expert for NBC News and the Today Show, got completely obliterated.  Doesn't seem right.  They both made terrible mistakes: one gets a chance to regain the public's trust and the other went into the witness protection program.  Hmmmmmm. -- Watched Law and Order: SVU last night and hated it.  I got so mad and almost turned it off, but couldn't believe that the writers and producers would let it end the way it was going.  May go down in my annals as the most abhorrent episode in all these years.  The Blacklist starts its new season tonight.  I'm very uncertain if they can keep it going.  Homeland begins again Sunday on Showtime. -- The New York Yankees are really making us sweat it out.  One more win, that's all to get in the playoffs.  The SF Giants are out, so sad, but we did have an unexpectedly good run.  The New York Mets will play the LA Dodgers in the first round of playoffs.  Hoping that the Mets get the home field advantage. -- We are once again being threatened by a hurricane.  Will it hit or won't it?  No one knows.  They just keep creating anxiety.  Preparedness is good, fear is bad. --  On that, I bid adieu until next time.  

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@DianaPodolsky

President Pope

I am not speaking about Olivia Pope from the ABC series, Scandal.  I am referring to the one and only Pope Francis for President of the United States.  Now, I am being tongue and cheek, but over the 5 days that he was in our country, he spoke of global climate change, immigration rights, and, yes, against abortion, among many other hot button issues. He spoke of the golden rule to Congress.  Can you imagine?  In his beautiful, dulcet voice he asked the members of Congress to do unto others....A bit embarrassing, don't you think?  There were even members of Congress that dissed the Pope because they didn't like his perspective on topics.  Seriously?  He's the Pope.  To the Catholic Church isn't he the closest vessel to God?  He is a learned man.  He's no one's uneducated dupe.  He preaches the "real" words of Jesus.  Feed the poor, help the needy, give health insurance for all.  Wow, radical thoughts and beliefs.  How in the world can anyone object to his preaching on these topics?  Shouldn't all people in the role of leader and clergy be preaching the same things?  

I have to admit, I was absolutely smitten with Pope Francis.  I kind of love him.  We don't agree on all things, but we are more aligned than any Republican candidate for President.  He thinks income inequality is a disgrace. He thinks all of us are God's children and he means it.  He, as did St. Francis of Assisi, cherishes the earth and all its living things.  There are things in the Catholic doctrine that I will always disagree with but for the most part, this Pope has taken his oath and Bible seriously.  Every time he saw a child or a disabled person he was drawn to all of them.  He would have stopped for everyone if the security detail and time permitted.  

New Yorkers enjoyed the Pope whether Catholic or not.  Hard to argue with all the love he shared.  I have no idea how he had the energy for all the places he went, people he blessed, and masses he led.  I was tired just watching him on television.  Interesting that so many people from his past reported that he never used to smile, when on this journey he couldn't stop smiling.  

The Pope's visit spread much needed love and acceptance that we have long been missing.  How long will that feeling last?  His message was so potent that House Speaker Boehner decided that he had enough of the insanity.  That's Boehner.  He was at the center of the crazy for awhile and now he was out-crazied in Congress.  He's tired and is out.  Basta!  Enough!  Done! Over and out!.  So now what will happen with Congress?  Who will take over as Speaker?  Remember the devil you know is always better than the devil you don't.  I think it will only get worse.  Even watching some of the Congressional hearings today, the disrespect was flying high.  Is the bloom already off the rose?  Can it happen that fast?  

All I know for sure is that if there was just one Republican candidate that was anything like the Pope, I could listen.  I can't take any of these candidates seriously, but we need to, don't we?  I don't want to keep hearing that T***p won't make it, Carson won't be the nominee, Huckabee, etc. etc. etc.  There will be a Republican nominee at some point. I don't want anyone to underestimate what money can do.  Let's see how it plays out.

Sidebars:  The new Fall TV season is here.  They roll shows out more slowly than when I was a kid, but they are coming.  I've watched two episodes of Blindspot and it's still interesting.  I'm worried about The Blacklist, just from the promos.  It may have jumped the shark.  The Voice is going strong.  Still highly recommend it to watch and hear how many talented singers there are and how fun the judges are.  Amazing Race and Survivor began for season whatever.  Dancing With the Stars is a whole bunch of non-stars and no more Len Goodman judging. -- Baseball season is winding down. NY Mets made it to the division championship for the NL East.  I'm still holding out a bit of hope for the SF Giants and the Yankees.  It all will be decided Sunday.  Great decision that all Sunday games will play at the same time.  Let's see how that works out. -- Trying to get back on the writing horse, but it's difficult.  I appreciate writers more and more. -- Don't forget to be kind to yourself and others.

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@DianaPodolsky

I Lost My Joie

I Lost My Joie.  One of my favorite, favorite songs from William Finn, creator of all things Falsetto and I believe cut from the production of Falsettos.  I use it all the time.  It's fitting. It says it all. These days, it's true.  Politics have gotten me dazed and confused.  Depressed a bit.  Watching the Republicans talk stupid over two debates is depleting my spirit.  There isn't a Republican candidate that I could vote for once they start spewing about Planned Parenthood, Women's Rights, Pro-Life, Religion, etc.  The social issues take them out for me.  In today's paper there are Republicans that won't go hear the Pope because of his "leftist" views.  Come on, really?  The Pope??? Leftist???????  Maybe they all have to go back and read the Bible.  So many stand on it, by it, around it, but maybe they should listen to the actual words of Jesus.  Seriously, if they don't like to read...go see Stephen Schwartz' Godspell.  It will give you a great, easy snapshot of Christianity without all those many pages to read.  You can even hum along.  

Did you watch the debate?  I could only watch the first two hours of the primetime debate this week.  Ridiculously too long and fairly empty of any significant content.  Tr**p is a big immature bully on the playground and all the other kids are trying to rise above the fray.  Not much is said.  They all want war.  They all love Israel (of course, not because they love Jewish people, but whatever).  They all hate Obamacare but have never presented any other idea how to cover people with health insurance.  They all hate Hillary Clinton.  The Donald refers to everyone by their first name.  Fiorina refers to him as "Mr. Tr**p."  They try to hold their ground but say nothing.  For over three hours of primetime television, nothing of substance gets presented.  It's the Miss America pageant without the swimsuits.  Actually, I hate to even demean the Miss America pageant, at least they get scholarship money.  

These candidates are all unelectable.  They are caught between a rock and a hard place because to get to the general election, they have to spew so much BS that the party can never win the Presidency again.  The religious right, the NRA, the tea party, all have their claws right between each pair of legs of these candidates.  Hard to know what anyone really believes.  The only one on the primetime stage that has basically been the same year in and year out...Rand Paul.  Like him or hate him, he seems to be true to his beliefs.  Dr. Ben Carson believing in creationism over evolution is mind-boggling.  How is a man of science so ignorant?  He was a pediatric neurologist for goodness sake.  Carly Fiorina's over the top, incorrect plea about abortions and Planned Parenthood funding was disgusting.  The Donald's bullshit connection of vaccines and autism should take him out of the race right now.  After all the doctors have disproven the research from the fully flawed British study that got the "ultra scholar" Jenny McCarthy, turning her Playboy playmate career into a PT Barnum barker, Tr**p has perpetuated the BS again during the debate. Ugh!! Mike Huckabee fortunately didn't speak too much because I have had enough of him from the Kim Davis disgrace.

Let me make it clear again. I firmly believe in the separation of Church and State.  Our Republican candidates get that all confused.  They really think the Bible, Ten Commandments, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence should all be what guides our Country.  No, people.  Please take a civics course again from an atheist professor.  Let him/her set you straight.  You all continue to bastardize what it says that you can't possibly lead.  Mr. Huckabee, you brought civics into the debate, you can be the first to sign up for a crash course.  Of course, as each of you have to drop out of the race, you can spend more time on what our Forefathers so richly and thoughtfully created.  

And again, ladies and gentlemen, without upending the Citizens United decision, democracy is threatened.  The money in politics is destroying the Country that we all love.  Yes, Mr. Tr**p, if you want to make "America Great Again," it's not the immigrants tearing it down, it's the billionaires.

Sidebars: We get at least a month off before the next Republican debate.  The Democrats step up to the podiums mid-October. -- The Emmy's are on Sunday night.  Always makes me feel old and out of it. I haven't gotten into the flow of Netflix or any other off shoot.  I am still old school watching mostly network shows, lots of sports, and news.  Oh well, I'll still be there in front of the TV trying to figure out who all the people are. -- Baseball season is winding down.  The SF Giants aren't out yet, but looking pretty slim that they will be in the post season.  But hey, no one thought that they'd be this great this season, so it's been a great ride.  The NY Mets have been tearing it up.  The NY Yankees are still alive. Football season is fully underway.  Too much, too many games, too many days of the week.  Too much and it's just the beginning. --- If you haven't seen the hilarious video by Ann Pinto McCarney, google it.  For all the parents of college freshman, it will make you laugh.  

TGIF.   So that's it for the Friday before my birthday. Enjoy!!!

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@DianaPodolsky

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

So, the kids are in college and the empty nest hasn't been empty yet.  My sister came for two weeks.  Helped bridge the gap between their new chapter and mine.  Now, she's gone and I think the reality is really going to sink in.  Everyone has asked how am I doing with the kids away.  I have felt steadfast that I'm good, pretending that they are simply at sleep away camp.  We will see them at Parents' weekend in October, so I can almost really get away with that.  

It's just crazy. The school that our children went to for 13 years started today and we're not there anymore. It's odd. Not wishing that I was still there with them, but it's a huge transition from all these past years.  I see the Facebook photos from friends proudly posting the first day of school photos of their kids marching off to school.  Those days are gone for me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm exceedingly proud, but those photos are in the past.  I remember the first day they went to kindergarten and I was sad that I forgot my camera to take that picture of them starting school.  All these other parents were snapping away and I was running between two different classrooms seeing them off.  I decided that it was an "oh, well."  Living in the moment and capturing the images in my head.  

Now, they are pursuing independent lives.  I am still struggling with my future.  It will be a jagged road.  Nothing linear and clear.  Two steps forward, 5 steps back, and so on.  I do not feel sorry for myself, so no one has to worry about me.  I am one of many parents that have to adjust to an empty nest.  I just wish I had found a passion in addition to my children to help smoothly move me into this new volume, but I didn't.  So, now I sit here, starting over again.  Feels everyone else is on their path.  Trying to stay connected to friends, but without the structure of school, we are scattering every which way.  It's life. It's how it goes.  

The Jewish holidays are almost here and that will be another reminder of having to re-create traditions again.  It will be different, it will be smaller.  It will be, que sera, sera.  In the middle of all that annually, the birthday. More different celebrations.  

Made a few superficial changes:  got a Nespresso machine, drinking a lot more coffee, and got another piercing in my lobe. Still must do more household organization. Say it year in and year out, but this year...I mean it.  :-) 

So until I figure things out, I will struggle and may keep writing. It is a great outlet for me.  So much to say and so much time.

Sidebars:  Had tickets for months to see Hamilton on Broadway.  We got there and found out the star and creator wasn't doing the performance, even though I had reconfirmed with the box office earlier in the week.  We left the theatre and somehow got our money back.  That was my lottery win.  They never give money back if an actor isn't in the show, unless they're "above the title" actors.  So the best laid plans.  Now, struggling to get tickets -- Had the big fun turning Bachelor in Paradise into family viewing.  Not all members participated, but much fun and caused many debates and conversations.  Also, enjoying America's Got Talent and American Ninja Warriors as family gatherings. -- Still rooting loudly and passionately for the San Francisco Giants but looking more and more improbable.  Need Hunter Pence in the lineup. -- US Open tennis is halfway through.  Upsets and victories abound.  Tonight Serena and Venus have to play each other.  Hate that. If it were the finals, fine, but otherwise....-- The new season of The View began today.  I tried it. Not sure I can stick with it, but without doubt, it's great to have Joy Behar back. Stephen Colbert premieres tonight!  Well worth DVRing and giving it a chance. -- Sweltering here, there, and everywhere. Global climate change is a fact. It's not a belief. Enjoy your heat wherever you are.  Shout out to my friend, Holly.  It's her birthday today and no adult I know loves birthdays more than Holly.  

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@DianaPodolsky

This Is It

The day that most parents both dread and look forward to is here.  After an incredible 18 years of raising two amazing young people, tomorrow is the day we let them go.  We are off to taking our children to college.  I really can't believe it.  This past week has been anything but easy, but also had some wonderful moments to cherish.  

I've been fighting a cold all week and losing.  My daughter has been sick for a week.  No antibiotic can fix what ails me.  I was told that a cold is your body ready to lose something.  Well, my body might be ready, but I'm not.  Don't get me wrong, I know that this is part of the evolution of child-rearing but the terror that I didn't teach them enough is nagging at me all the time.  It's not a rational thought. It's irrational fear.  It's a very exciting time and I also know that.  Please, don't worry about me. I'm not expressing this for pity or morale boost.  All the parents of college freshman are having many of the same conflicting feelings: nervous, happy, scared, excited.  It's my mantra right now.  

I hear the birds and their babies.  I know that this is mirroring the same cycle.  It is time to let go and pray that I have imparted all the knowledge and wisdom to help them maneuver through life.  This period of life seems much easier for birds.  They encourage them to fly. That's the Mommy bird's job, but oy, it's not easy.  Life is about to change forever.  No more knowing where they are and when they come home.  I have tried to practice that this summer.  It's amusing because our parents never knew where we were.  There were no cell phones.  We managed to grow up in one piece.  Maybe some better than others, but we figured it out.  

I am not the first parent to go through this.  I will not be the last either, but we all go through it both differently and the same. The only thing that may change my evolution is it's two at a time.  It's ripping a bandaid off really quickly.  One huge pain and recovery.  I've been joking that there will be a new river down 3rd Avenue in New York City.  I will be fine.  It will hurt.  It will be quiet.  It will be new.  It will be uncomfortable.  I will survive.  

To all the parents of college freshman, cherish every last second that you can, remember what's important, try to let go of all the small stuff.  How you say goodbye is what they will remember until Thanksgiving.  And freshman, be kind to your parents.  I've always said that it's much more exciting and easier for the ones leaving than the ones staying.  This time we are all going on new adventures.

Breathe. 

Retching!

Watched the entire Republican debate last night.  I am still shaking my head.  I actually needed the commercial breaks to be sick to my stomach.  The candidates stances on women, women's rights to choose, Planned Parenthood, immigration, taxation, Church and State, and so on is so terrifying and disconcerting that I can't see how anyone can support a Republican candidate.  They have gone so far right, including and if you believe him, Donald T***p.  I don't believe for one second that he went from pro-choice to pro-life.  Don't think he cares really either way at all. His saccharine and embarrassing anecdote about his friends that were going to get an abortion and chose not to and ended up raising a fine young person.  Okay, non-sequitur, really.  That's not the point of pro-choice.  I love the nun this week who's been trending with this insightful quote: 

 "I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.". --- Sister Joan Chittister, Catholic Nun.  Yes, sister, you are so right! 

Look, it's not that all of these candidates have nothing valid to say, but the overall stance is so backwards.  They want to take us back to the 1950's where women knew their place, minorities knew their place, things seemed simple, God was added to the Pledge of Allegiance, and things were black and white. No gray.  No complicated thoughts.  Honestly, I'm sure it wasn't simple at all in the 50's but thanks to television and movies indelibly imprinted in our memories, it seemed positively pastoral.  

All of these men during the primetime Republican debate, threw out red meat to the base.  I resented the audience and applause and boos.  It made it a sporting match.  Maybe if there was no live audience, the candidates would have to delve more deeply and not throw out sound bites and quips.  The "esteemed" Fox News panel had their moments trying to get the candidates to actually answer the questions asked.  That was novel.  Even if they still didn't, it helped highlight to the audience at home how slippery they all are.  When Ben Carson said he wants to overhaul the tax system to tithing, I almost fell out of my club chair.  T***p hardly answered a direct question, though the panel did hold his feet to the fire when he wouldn't pledge not to run as an Independent.  That was the first question to the candidates.  He got boos.  

The final question the Fox panel asked was a Facebook question from Chase A. Norton, who wanted to know “if any of [the candidates] have received a word from God on what they should do and take care of first.” I had a visceral reaction to both the question and the answers by the candidates.  I can't bear that we are tearing down the separation between Church and State. That question has no business in government or politics.  That the Fox panel chose not only to use this question but end with it really made me uncomfortable.  

I think we are on a very slippery slope.  Many of the candidates mentioned religious liberty.  What about my religious liberty?  What about yours?  Why is your liberty infringing on mine?  It's unbearable.  It's scary.  If this is the path the Country wants to go down, we really will be in trouble.  It's not inclusive.  It's not liberty.  It's only their "Christian" way.  

Here's the upside to this experience, for two hours I got to forget that my children are going off to college.  

Sidebars:  Summer television has been a great distraction. I've chosen to watch trash and light fare over the much ballyhooed stressful summer series or binge watching those that have won multiple Emmys.  I'm okay with missing out.  The Bachelorette was a ball.  Bachelor in Paradise is filling the trash void perfectly though they are really milking it over two nights.  America's Got Talent and American Ninja Warrior are fun for the whole family.  Having purchased the MLB package, I can be tortured 6 days a week by the San Francisco Giants.  It's been a roller coaster.  Still a lot of season left.  The Yankees and the Mets are doing shockingly great.  Honestly, I can't complain.  No one thought that the Giants or the Yankees would be much of anything this season.  Both teams have given me a lot to root for daily.  On a serious note...I've been struggling with the Iran deal. Trying to figure out what the options are and no one has an answer to that.  If Congress votes it down and there's no deal at all, then what?  People may hate the deal, but without any deal isn't that worse?  I'm not saying I'm for it, but I just can't get the answer either way.  If you've got it, let me know.  It's Friday.  My kids are leaving in 8 days....Eight days a week, I lo-o-o-o-ove you!

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@DianaPodolsky